Feeling better.

I don't know if any other girls in the world have the same problem as I do: once a month, I begin getting frustrated, tired, cranky, and more down on myself than usual. Though that is common and fairly predictable, my problem is that I always forget it's coming, don't understand where my motivation went, and would fight you to the death, crying the whole way, for a cupcake. Chocolate, please, with vanilla bean frosting.

Luckily, when my monthly visitor does show up, I'm so shocked and perplexed, my anxiety and anger seem to dissolve, and I spend the next couple days apologizing to everyone I came into contact with for the prior few. I've considered getting back on the pill, as my system is fairly irregular to begin with, but I turn 35 this year, and the idea of sudden strokes and blood clots freaks me out far more than growling at passers-by while I devour everything in sight.

Today's run was indicative of this cycle more than any I can remember in recent history. I didn't feel like running the past few times, I had to practically push myself out the door, and when I finally mustered the courage to spend 30 minutes in the sun, I performed poorly and whined the whole time. I lowered my expectations for the past couple runs, but this time out, I found myself running just a bit longer each repetition; instead of just running in three minute bursts, after a couple of repetitions, I was running in four, then five minute increments. That's not too big of a deal, as I was running for five minutes at a time last week (and I should have been running for six minutes at a time this week), but it is always surprising to get my motivation back.

Now, if only I could release the death grip on the cookies.